Here in Mairena life stops, or I stop at life here.
Kia says: “When we practice Yoga we take care of the present and we do it deeply”.
What a huge challenge to experience our lives without naming them, categorizing them and even reducing each moment, turning it into something known and knowable….
What a challenge to care for the present moment whatever our experience and to care for ourselves in the present moment, whatever the situation that arises ….
These words have resonated very strongly with me because I sometimes see myself caring for others from what I can offer with humility, and I also see myself diving into the deep waters of maternal care.
But here, when the experience is reduced to a lightness of being and a simple listening, awareness comes through and it is crystal clear.
When my aunt Ana saw my small suitcase next to my mat, in the hall ready for leaving, she asked: Is that all you are taking for twelve days?
It may seem like a simple question but I realized how much “I carry” when I don’t travel alone, and how little I need if it is only me; and it seemed to me to be as beautiful as it was revealing.
I haven’t stopped missing my children here and also feeling light and free like I haven’t felt in about eight years.
Intimacy gives us a sense of belonging… another of the phrases that I have written down from the sessions.
But what is intimacy, really?
Do I get intimate with my body when I give myself permission to occupy my mat?
Is that why we return again and again to sit and move in the deep listening of our practice?
Isn’t it an intimate act when other people give me permission to watch them occupy theirs?
Do my children belong to me? Does my practice belong to me?
From the intimacy of my breathing and from the intimacy of my body twisted sometimes in deep postures…. from the intimacy represented in the simple act of sitting in silence…. of course… it is from there that there is no difference between taking care of myself and taking care of others because the feeling of the practice expands… that residue that allows us to inhabit ourselves like this, too….
Kia will come to Hendaye on October 14, 15 and 16 for a first Immersion in Pranayama, Meditation and Ashtanga. Hopefully this is the first time of many.
Soon I will put more details so that those who live abroad can visit us at DenenYoga.
Meanwhile I continue to deepen my practice with her and with the beautiful community that is created in this place. Here and now.